i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize