i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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