I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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