google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
