Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
