I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
