Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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