Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
