you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
