1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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