I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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