the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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