I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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