remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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