Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
