The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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