I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
