grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize