I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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