She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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