Yo dont text me then not text me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
