i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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