So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Randomize
