Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
