I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
