I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
