I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
