Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize