I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
