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Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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