is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
