I wanna bring you to show and tell
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
