We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
