I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
