So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
