if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
