I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
lol hangovers are for mortals.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
