Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
