I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
