HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
