Me too!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
