the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
