I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
