I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
