ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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