she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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