I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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