ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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