Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is it because I queefed?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
