I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
