Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
