u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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