a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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