he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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