We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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