HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
