But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
