I will die if light touches me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize