guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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