OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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