living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize