Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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