sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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