Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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