i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
